Are You Making the Right Decision?
This question about making decisions is a paralyzing question, because you might be afraid of making the wrong decision. If you follow the process I’ve outlined below, you may start making decisions easier and without all of the frustration.
My name is Tony Rhoton, and I’m here to help you increase your confidence so you can feel capable and whole. I want to help you be able to accomplish your dreams. I decided that I’m going to take something from one of the young ladies that I’ve been working with and dissect some of the challenges facing women today so these articles, will be more helpful to you.
The first struggle I want to discuss with you is indecision. For a lot of women and men, this is a Biggie, and maybe this is one of your battles? When you have to make choices in life, sometimes it’s tough and almost overwhelming. What should you do? Should you take this job? Should you go to this place? Should you go to school? There are a lot of decisions to be made, which feels endless. As these things start to show up that you need to make decisions on, unfortunately, your happy day starts slipping away.
How do you make a decision without getting overwhelmed, paralyzed, or feeling stuck?
The paralysis happens when you overanalyze and refuse to make a decision. You may be wondering what to do, you need to do?
Slammed with Making Decisions
For all intents and purposes of this article, let’s just say your landlord just told you-you have to move. All of a sudden, you feel this burdening weight, even though you don’t see it, you feel it. You are angry, frustrated, sad, scared, and a slew of other emotions. All of the small choices that you were making have become an after-thought, and you feel like an enormous weight is sitting on top of you and pushing you further into the ground. Thoughts of, “I can’t handle this. Why is this happening? I’m done with this.”
The additional logical thoughts start flowing, do I try to find an apartment, a home, a condo? Do I share a house with someone or move in with family? All of these, thoughts start weighing on you.
No matter how you look at it, none of these choices is the wrong choice. But when you have these thoughts, it feels like a huge weight. However, you start to question everything, and wonder am I making the right decision? Should I do this or that?
The weight of it all changes your attitude, and everything about you. You start to sink, feeling pushed down further and further into a hole.
What do you do?
Continuing with the theme of moving.
Here’s a process that I’ve found that works for me and hope it will work for you.
Step 1 – Research your choices.
Step 2 – Write each possible option down on paper.
Step 3 – Study each scenario and start dissecting it by asking questions like:
• would it be like if you move into the apartment?
• kind of a person would I be in an apartment, condo, home, etc…?
• people, will I be hanging around, would this be good for me?
• would my area be like?
Dissecting, it will open your mind and connect your feelings. Do this same questioning with each choice; answering all of the questions like who, what, when, where and why. Answer them all. Exhaust your questions.
You have a hard time making a decision because you lack information. You don’t know what you don’t know?
Step 4 – Narrow down your list to three.
As you go through this process and gain information you’ll be able to narrow your list down to three. And when you narrow it down, it will start to simplify the choices. For example: I really don’t want to live in a cardboard box, and I don’t want to move in with family. And I don’t want to share a house. You have immediately eliminated three options, keep going.
Step 5 – Narrow down to two with more details.
Now you have narrowed it down to three decisions, apartment, home, or condo. With three choices go to the next step and out of these three, narrow it down to two by following this example with more details.
Start asking yourself these questions:
How much is it going to cost?
Where would they be?
What kind of area would it be in?
What feels better a condo or home?
No matter what the decision you’re making, whether it’s college, children, family, etc. the process is the same.
When narrowed down to two, ask yourself which one feels better?
If one decision feels better, go with it, follow your gut.
If you’re still not sure, then proceed with the next part of the process and try to imagine living the choice out.
Step 5 – Live it.
In this scenario, imagine what it looks like and how you feel after coming home from work. Identify the thoughts that are running through your head as you walk through. What concerns* came up and what things do you like, literally close your eyes and take yourself through each option; put yourself in every situation.
*(write your concerns down)
To reiterate, this is the same process no matter what decisions you are facing.
Afterward, you follow this same process with the next option. Recognize your feelings through this process, and what feels best?
Take the visualization further, if you have children, what are they doing? Identify if you have any specific hobbies or skills you would like to pursue. For example, if you have animals, which one would be more conducive? If you love to garden, which one will allow you to do this?
It Doesn’t Matter
Step 6 – It doesn’t matter.
After following this process if both decisions feel okay, then it doesn’t matter. And that is the next thing, ‘it doesn’t matter,’ realize that whatever the decision is, it’s just a decision.
You may feel like if you make this decision, then your life is that way forever, NO, it’s not. You are a living, breathing, divine person that has the freedom to choose again and again. You are not stuck!
I recognized that I was getting stuck thinking that the decisions I make are final, it was like set in stone, and I couldn’t do anything else. For years, I refused to buy trees because I didn’t know where I wanted to plant them. I wasn’t sure where I wanted to put a fire pit, so I keep putting things off, enjoyable experiences with family because I was stuck. It’s not fun being stuck.
Worst Case Scenario
I adopted a philosophy in my life and use it all of that the time, it’s called, “What’s the worst case scenario?”
Step 7 – Worst Case Scenario.
The next big step after this entire process is to ask yourself, “What’s the worst case scenario?”
In my case of planting a tree, what’s the worst case scenario?
If I planted a tree and I don’t like it, I lost time, money and I have to cover a hole. What I wasn’t realizing is I can go get some new grass seed, and within a matter of six months, you would never know I had a tree planted.
Frequently, it’s the small decisions that are holding you back from progressing and doing some of the things that you want to do. I held off for so long to get trees, if I had purchased the trees a long time ago and just made a decision, I would be eating some delicious fruit by now, but I was stuck in indecision.
When I discovered this process I realized it really doesn’t matter.
There may be some decisions that you’re facing that will alter your life forever and those you still follow the same process, but you really pay attention to what’s inside of you, what are you feeling?
Test the Process to Make Decisions in Your Life
I know that not all decisions that you need to make fit perfectly in this model, but so many do. I challenge you to look at the decisions you need to make right now and implement this model into your decision-making process.
See if this process works for you:
- Studying it out
- Write all of your options down.
- Narrow it down to three.
- Narrow it down to two by adding more details.
- Live it out in your mind.
- If one choice starts feeling better, go with that decision.
- If you’re not getting confirmation over either two final choices, then it doesn’t matter.
- What’s the worst-case scenario on choosing either the final two options?
Once you’ve narrowed it down and you have just those final two options, just choose one. Your life is not set in stone.
Realize that the decisions you make today, most of them won’t change the course of our life and if it does, it’s the course you’re supposed to take.
Small Decisions Holding You Hostage?
Small decisions like should I take my son to his friends or not? Do I feel like it? Yeah, that seems simple, but when you have more significant decisions weighing on your mind, and these other smaller decisions come in, it’s overwhelming. Overwhelm may cause you to react negatively towards friends, family, and loved ones.
As you start making decisions, decision making will become easier because this process happens automatically.
Now when I’m faced to make decisions, I frequently go from, I studied it out in my mind and drop down to what’s the worst case scenario? If I feel like I need to, I’ll jump back up to the beginning of the process and go through the rest. I’m able to make the decision a lot faster now.
What decisions do you have to make right now? What’s holding you back and preventing you from moving forward?
Follow this process:
Write all of your options down notice how you feel, and when comparing, option A, to option B, which one feels best?
If you choose option A over B than delete B and move onto the next options C, D, E, F, until you find one that is equal too or liked more.
Through this narrowing process, you will realize you like one more than another.
Whatever the decision you have to make, study it out, and write all of your options down.
This is going to help start making quicker and faster decisions.
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I would love to help you level up your life. No matter what your struggle is, I can help you get to the next level. It’s what I do.
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You’re amazing. Believe it.