Rise Up Out of the Ashes of Your Past

23 Jan 2018

Lead with Love Compassion

Pushing Doesn’t Work – Lead with Love and Compassion

I share my experience where I tried to push someone to succeed, and I didn’t mentor with love and compassion and it almost backfired.

When I mentor with love and compassion, doors open, communication opens, and success happens. However, today, I realized that I did not mentor with love and compassion and I tried to push her to break through her struggles. I tried to force the issue that I could see holding her back.

Step Back Apologize

I had to step back and build safety immediately and acknowledge what I did was wrong and modify what I was asking her to do. After I created safety I had to back up and help her realize she could talk, we continued and discovered a technique that I think would help her tremendously.

When I stepped back and apologized, I discovered where she was really at, and doors opened. I acknowledge that I made a mistake. I then look at other possible solutions to keep her moving forward.

Moving Forward

When I got on the same page, solutions to the potential issues presented themselves. I cannot assume that just because I feel someone is ready to move forward, that they are. I have to be a kind, compassionate, and loving mentor that will gently guide the mentee to the beautiful oasis that awaits them.

Success Despite the Challenge

Despite the challenge, I helped her continue to move forward. She went away with some new action steps to overcome the feelings she has penned up inside. I am grateful to mentor women, teens and adults. I am honored and humbled to have this amazing opportunity, thank you.


  • Step back and analyze if you are gently guiding someone or if you are trying to push them.
  • After you recognize what you’re doing, adjust if you need to.
  • If you are pushing, backpedal a bit and establish safety.
  • Apologize for pushing them and not being more considerate of their feelings.
  • Look for new solutions with the individual to handle the problem at hand.


Process those negative feelings, get them out of you.

Negative feelings hold you back from being even better than you are.

You’re Amazing, Rise Up!


Tony Rhoton – Mentor, Speaker, Coach