Controlling Spouses

What Can You Do When You have a Controlling Spouse?

Recently I launched an offer to purchase a self-esteem course for those saying they were struggling with their self-esteem. However, there were very few of these women who bought it, so I reached out to them to ask why? The response I received was sad and enlightening, “My spouse controls all of the money, and I have to get permission to spend money. If he doesn’t think it’s a worthy expense, he says, “No” and then I do not talk about it again.

First, I must vent and let you know this is abuse and my heart aches for you. (This is not okay and if you don’t feel safe, consider all your options to gain that safety.)

After hearing several stories that were similar, I couldn’t get this out of my mind, and this article is the inspiration I received to give women that are feeling controlled by their husbands. (This information is universal for men and women, whoever feels controlled.) The steps to implement this technique are already written on a previous post called, Unfinished Conversations. I will NOT repeat them here; please read Unfinished Conversations for the step by step process.

Feel Like Never Enough

When your husband is controlling it feels like you are never enough. You try to please him through intimacy, keeping the house tidy, doing his favorite things, etc… but nothing seems to give you the validation that you crave. Since you are not getting the validation, you worth goes down, weight increases, depression ensues, and you get to the point of not caring anymore and go numb.

You start to numb your senses because it hurts less. The coping mechanisms that you have created keep you safe but don’t help you progress and be the person you want to be. Despite your best efforts though, there are some days you are done and want to end it all.

Please know that you are loved and cared for. I’m here for you. Schedule an appointment here.

Believe in You

I believe in you, and I think you’re beautiful and talented. You have a gift to share with the world, and I want to help you share it by increasing your self-esteem, so you have the confidence to do so.

My message is to help you increase your self-esteem independent of others. If you want to be confident, you must learn how to love yourself as you are, independent of what others think. You don’t need your husband or children to build you up. Their kudos are additional toppings on your already made cake, but you don’t need them.

Start here to help increase your self-esteem, every little bit helps.

If you’re ready to take control of your life and jump-start your healing process, sign up for the Complete Self-Esteem Course.


Tony Rhoton, Speaker, Trainer, Mentor on Increasing Your Self-Esteem!

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