Connection, Connection, Connection – We Need It!
Sometimes our light dims and but is blown again into instant flame by an encounter with another human being. – Albert Schweitzer
The need and desire for human connection are innate and critical. Left alone, and you will die, so it’s no wonder that God has created chemicals like oxytocin to establish a stronger connection.
As you go through life, there are times that nothing seems to work. You implement all of the self-help tools you can think of, journaling, positive declarations, and trying your best. You would think, ahhhhh, I’ve got all the tools I need. The sense of preparedness fully encompasses you, and you feel ready for anything.
I can relate to this feeling because I thought I was prepared and nothing could get me down, but the past couple of days have been a nightmare. I implemented everything I could to get out of my funk, but to no avail. Here are the things I did:
- Write a letter, check.
- Journal, check.
- Positive declarations, check.
- Listening to music, check, actually made me more agitated.
- Identity poster, check.
Nothing is Working
The feeling of despair set in and I could feel the emotions brewing. The thoughts came to me; you can do this, don’t worry about it keep pushing forward. You will be over this soon.
Then my beautiful wife, Reneé, comes in and says, “Is everything okay.”
Here’s my moment am a man or a mouse. I’m a man, and I lose it. I’m not afraid to show emotion, and I let her know all of my feelings. Important to note, never share something with your spouse if it could be hurtful to them. The things I was feeling were all about me; they were about my struggles, not hers. After pouring everything out, she said the most potent words she could say, “I Love You!”
These words come out of her mouth frequently, but this time it was like a bomb that exploded in my heart. The power of these words at this time was magical and healing. She did not try to fix me, no advice, nothing that seems like offering support. The thing that she did was listen and say, “I Love You.”
I wasn’t all fixed, feeling better but still frustrated I worked in the yard for a bit, ate dinner with my family which everything kept getting better and better.
After reflecting on this experience, I recognized the value and the importance of connection. My wife connected with me by listening to what I had to say and then letting me know she cared.
The Greatest Fallacy
Where are you at in life? Are you trying to do it alone? Are you assuming you don’t need help from anyone?
Feeling like you have to face your pains, frustrations, anger, resentment, joys, and happiness alone, is the greatest fallacy that exists. From birth we connect with our family, we can’t go alone. Connection is crucial for healing and when you’ve tried everything else, reach out and connect with someone.
Sometimes the best person to talk to is someone that you don’t know, no judgment, no blame, or shame.