Can You Handle the Change

Change exists but can you handle it? Recently I was on social media, and there’s a lot of drama going on in politics, spiritual beliefs, etc… I am always told, “Never mix religion, politics, and business.” I completely disagree! If your religion, is part of you, how can you separate the two? You can’t, if you believe in what you believe.

I’m saddened that my daughter read some of the hateful things I was called, which created some pain in my her.

After thinking about it for a while, it opened up a good conversation, and we began talking. The points I shared with my daughter, are valuable for us all, especially our children.

In life, you will have to make decisions and the more you stand up for your beliefs, the more you get attacked. Because you don’t believe a certain way does not mean you have the right to attack others, you have differing opinions. The differing opinions help create balance in society.

Crossing the Line

The problem comes when we don’t agree with someone else, and we turn to violence. The violence I’m talking about can be physical, verbal, written, etc… If you start attacking someone else, you have crossed the line. Where is your line?

The line I’m referring to is your standards. Do you know? Do you have them clearly defined?

For example, I will not swear at someone. I will always step back, even when attacked and try to view it from the other person’s point of view.

About two years ago I was coaching my son’s basketball team, and we were losing badly. The score was 14-0, and several young men were ball hogs, meaning they would get the ball and shoot it.

I pulled all of the boys aside and did not narrow out anyone but said, “If you shoot a three-pointer, I will pull you out of the game.”

It wasn’t even 2 minutes and up goes a three-pointer from this same individual. I called time and pulled him out of the game. I sat down and talked with him a bit and all of the sudden his dad is in my face. Understand this is in the middle of the game.

At first, I had several immediate things run through my mind, punch and take him out; tell him to sit down and shut up; completely ignore him or engage civilly. While he’s yelling at me, I said, “I hear you. Thank you for explaining. I hear you.” I never yelled or fought back. He went and sat down; his son still sat on the bench.

When the game was over, he came up and apologized.

Lesson Learned

With all of the kids, I had set a standard. I drew a line that they could not cross, shooting three-pointers. As soon as I stood up for what I said, I was attacked.

You will be attacked as you stand up for things. As you change and implement some new tools, like what I’ve been teaching you, you’ll get people saying, “That’s stupid, it won’t work.” You may even start to attack yourself, set your standard and don’t go below it.

What are your standards? If you don’t know, start to define them today.


Tony Rhoton, Mentor, Coach and Speaker 801.787.5765

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