Rise Up Out of the Ashes of Your Past

16 Jan 2018

Break Down Barriers

How to Connect with Your Children, Spouse, Friends, and Family

Inspired by a dream, I talk about a problem that exists in our society today, and it’s the lack of love.

Last night’s dream was extraordinarily realistic and woke me up at 3 am, and I could not go back to sleep. The dream I had was, unfortunately, all too common in today’s society where parents allow their feelings of, “It’s my way or the highway mentality” to get in the way of connecting with your children, friends, and family. Today’s post I talk about how to connect with your children, spouse, family and friends.

The Dream

In my dream, I saw a parent who was about to strike their child. I know how frustrating children can be, and I’ve done things that I regret, but that does not ever condone hitting, yelling or being violent of any kind. There are too many stories of violence and they never end well.

I have seen children severely hurt because of a parent losing their temper. You need to check yourself and recognize when your blood is starting to boil and change the scene, even if you have to run out of the house. Calm down, relax and come back with love as the focus.


Let me give you an example that happened to me. My son threw a shoe at me and hit me right in the groin. Any person hit there knows it is painful and you just want to demolish the person that caused the pain. I knew I was mad, very mad, but I told him to leave the room now because I was on the floor and couldn’t move very well. He kept apologizing, but it didn’t matter, I was past my point of reasoning right now.

He left the room, and I laid there gathering my composure and counting to 150 or more 🙂 After I gathered my composure, and I calmed down, I went down to my son and said, “Son, you can’t throw things like that, it’s not okay. I know you did not mean to do it, but I needed you to leave so I could calm down. I would like you to come back upstairs to be with the family.

Having a healthy relationship built on love and trust is essential. If I did not take that moment to calm down, I would have reacted in a way that would not have served him or I. I may have done something that I would regret. I could have yelled, etc.; however, I recognized where my temper was at, and I also realized I could not handle the situation as is. I would not have connected with my child to be able to break down the barriers of the dislike, get lost attitude.

5 Keys to Use

  • Key #1: Recognize – One of the keys to maintaining love and connection is to recognize your emotions. Acknowledge where you are at and become aware so that you can respond appropriately.
  • Key #2: Do NOT Act in Anger – Never react out of anger, it never turns out well.
  • Key #3: Analyze – Analyze your feelings, are you still angry? After you’ve calmed down, then you can approach the situation. If you have the slightest bit of anger, do not try to handle it.
  • Key #4: Approach with love. You’ve calmed down and now approach the issue at hand, you can let them know what they did was wrong but don’t call them names or make them feel like you don’t love them.
  • Key #5: Say I love you with a hug. Love takes action, not just words, enforce your love with a hug or some action. Forgiveness is the greatest gift you could give to your child, spouse or loved one. Own up to your part of the situation and ask for forgiveness and move on.

If you approach any situation like this, you will connect and keep the doors open that generally may be closed.


Call someone today, right now and let them know you love them; show them you care by calling them or doing some service for them.


You’re amazing. Remember that when a situation arises, take note of your feelings; never act out of anger; then analyze your feelings to see if you can approach the issue at hand. If you have the smallest amount of frustration, don’t approach the issue, wait. When you can address the situation, make sure to handle with love; say I love you with a hug or some action step.

You’re amazing. Realize it. I’ll show you how.

Need some additional coaching, speaking or mentoring?
Tony Rhoton • Motivational Speaker, Self Improvement Coach, and Mentor 801.787.5765



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